Woke up to crushing election defeat. Dreamed of oil sands oozing under the bedroom door. Must have been that moving ice wall video I watched on u tube right before I went to sleep. Need to read more novels. No, Must Read Important Books! Vow to stop watching stupid videos.
Kids busy making litterless lunches. “No you don’t need a baggie! Do you know what plastic is doing to the planet? OMG these containers are so gross. I hate Tupperware. I DON’T KNOW WHERE THE LID IS!
Check final election numbers on laptop. Cry. Read a Facebook post about how elections don’t matter anyway, anarchy is the only solution. Shower. Think about all the crap in our shampoo. Realize I’m slowly poisoning my children. Vow to make our own shampoo out of rosemary.
Singing in the car with the kids on the way to school. Happy. Feeling Good.
Daughter asks, “Mom would you die for Dad?” WHAT? “You know that song. I’d catch a grenade for ya, throw my hand on the blade for ya’, jump in front of a train for ya.” Answer, “No that’s stupid. I would yell, “TRAIN, get off the tracks!” Why would I catch a grenade? “Did he just say take a bullet straight through the brain for ya?” She asks, “wouldn’t you do anything for someone you love?” I rant about how that has nothing to do with love and why would I sacrifice my life for a man and why doesn’t he say, “I’d sit by your side if you get cancer and go bald, I’ll get up with the baby in the night and rub your feet when they are hot and sweaty.”
“Ewww Mom that’s so gross.” Ignore major eye rolling from daughters.
Wonder why I let them explore the radio beyond CBC? Remember when they asked, startled, “you mean there’s more than talking on the car radio?” Find myself keeping the station on after they get out. Loudly singing, “won’t you blow my whistle baby.” Switch to CBC. ARGH, election news. Back to whistle blowing. Catch a glimpse of several chin hairs in the rear view mirror. Attempt to pull them out while driving onto the highway. Wonder, if our car smells like dog and I don’t notice it anymore, do I smell like dog all the time?
Arrive at work in feminist agency. Morning meeting; visioning, collaboration, shared decision-making, shifting power structures, exciting, hopeful. Counselling sessions with clients; leaving abuse, living with abuse, laughing, fighting back, rewarding, tears, hopeful, hard.
Read text from daughter “Mom can we get BB cream tonight.” What’s BB cream? Face makeup. Ask if it’s tested on animals. Clerk shrugs and says “probably”, daughter wants to buy it anyway. Reply, “I’m not paying for it”. She uses her own money. Screaming inside. Vow to show her PETA videos. Make steak fajitas for dinner. Must try Quinoa! Kale chips? Try her BB cream. Wow, it works better than that Body Shop stuff. Vow to write to the company about animal testing. If I use hers I won’t be buying it.
Hairdresser calls, booked for highlights. Try to write letter. Maybe e-mail will do. Sign petition about Keeping Merida Brave. Get my daughters to sign it. Forget about letter to company. Read, “Girls adventure book” to daughter. Other daughter is watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on her IPOD. Talk about whether Buffy is a role model. Daughter asks if I can write a note so she can get out of dissecting a sheep’s eyeball tomorrow. Says it’s against her ethical principles. Point out the contradiction in supporting animal testing. Refuse to write the note.
Hang up the laundry to dry. Notice that my husband did the dishes. Think about sex. Go to sleep.
Check out the post that inspired mine!
Laughing Feminist 
Too Funny. Such a great mix of ideals and reality.
Yeah, now that is funny!! Especially as I can see all that and more happening in your day. Ha ha ha… “do I smell like dog all day.”
you are on a roll mama – love it!
Really enjoyed reading this! It’s all good (and funny), but this one really got me, ” Notice that my husband did the dishes. Think about sex. Go to sleep.” I love how his doing the dishes is nearly an aphrodisiac, but not quite.
OMG this is hilarious. I totally relate to that constant battle between the person you want to be and the temptation of every day life and the easy way. Mine is the war between buying nice things for my home or pretty things for myself and then being horrified by the stuff I own and thinking do I really need all this? I used to get by with less in my younger days, what changed? Am I greedy? I’m gonna stop buying things….oh look at that belt!
Thanks for sharing.
I love it, you are the best and the funniest person I know! I have often wondered whether I would catch a gernade for my love… Then I am resentful because how silly, unpractical and selfish is that. Its a senseless, impulsive thing to do.
With both of us blown to bits, who will look after the kids, and clean up the mess? Someone has to stick around to do the inportant stuff…
Thanks for sharing honestly, oh the things to look forward to in motherhood.